i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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