don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
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Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
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At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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