I skipped work to stalk him.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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