I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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