Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
