Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
