I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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