just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
