Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize