Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
