i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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