last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize