my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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