wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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