i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
