i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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