i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
