I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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