do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
