last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
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All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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