I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize