My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
