"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
