she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
