I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
