i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
