I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
