:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
