I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize