i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
