a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
