I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
