i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
