Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
