i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
