Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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