Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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