I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
