go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
