I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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