so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
