Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize