Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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