piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
