it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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