He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize