Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize