This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
