Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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