I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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