I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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