There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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