I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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