Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
