Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
