There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
