Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You made out with two different species that night
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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