I don't think brook has ever known best
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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