similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
