Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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